|
|
Bad masturbation ideas | Mommy's panties | Strange life
CUNT CIRCUS | 400+ MASTURBATION STORIES | VIAGRA | FUCK FUNNY
Note: Don't try any of this at home. These are all extremely dangerous.
Pepsi challenge
While masturbating, I lube my ass real good, then when I really get into it, I brutally force my asshole down onto a 20 ounce bottle of Pepsi or something about that size, and see how far I can stretch my ass.
Penis enema
Take and enema bag and fill it with warm water and raise it above your head. Place the nozzle in your pee hole and open the valve and let the water drain into your penis. Just like and enema only in your penis. It will fill your bladder and your will get extra hard and it really feels good when you jack off.
Eggs in the morning
sometimes when I masturbate I like to jack off and shoot my sperm into a soup bowl. Then I get an egg from my fridge and crack it open, mix the egg with my sperm, and fry it in a frying pan. Yummm...sperm and eggs early in the morning. Gotta love it.
Swat!
I like to grab my balls until they turn blue. Then I swat them with a fly swatter. After that I put icy-hot on my balls and shaft and it gives them a hot burning sensation
Boiled eggs
Before starting to masturbate, take a beer bottle, drink it, and shove it up your asshole. I don't need anything else, but I sometimes wank at the same time and close my eyes and pour boiling hot water on my penis. This gives smashing orgasm. The first time I tried it, it was beyond belief! You might get burns but after they heal and masturbate it will feel double as good because you're loaded with cum.
Take my temperature
Apply a 1/4 teaspoon of Vaseline on the tip of your dick. Using the bulb end of a rectal thermometer "push" the Vaseline into your urethra. After three pushes with the bulb take your fingers and squeegee the Vaseline down the urethra towards the base. Repeat this two or three times to get the urethra coated well with the Vaseline. Then lube up your entire shaft and the thermometer with Vaseline and slowly insert the thermometer into your dick. Go slowly at first because this will cause irritation. As you get accustomed to this you will start to feel pleasures that you never thought possible! After you are comfortable with this and are no longer feeling any discomfort, try this, after inserting the thermometer all the way down into your dick. Hold onto the end and rock your hips in the same way as you would when fucking. You are literally fucking your own dick! BE VERY CAREFUL!!! Do not get too wild or you will injure the urethra. Also remember the thermometer is made of glass, to break it while inside would not be good at all! With practice this feels great! On average I do this one to two times a week.
Pluck
For men and women--- just when you're at the point of orgasm, yank out a few pubes with your other hand. This pain hyper-sensitizes your fun spots creating an explosion pleasure like you've never felt before. For those who are shaven--- inserting a small pin or needle into your peehole has the same effect.