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Bad masturbation ideas | Mommy's panties | Strange life
CUNT CIRCUS | 400+ MASTURBATION STORIES | VIAGRA | FUCK FUNNY
Sniff Them
Hi, my story seems funny but it's actually a very serious problem to me. I have a fetish with sniffing guys' balls even when I don't know the person. My psychologist says it could be a rare form of a Tourette's syndrome but I cannot help it. One time I was eating out at Ruby Tuesdays and this waiter asked me if I'd like anything else, well, I unzipped his fly and starting sniffing his balls. He proceeded to yell because I squeezed them really really hard and he called the cops on me. When I was taken into jail the cop let me sniff his balls, but I didn't want to sniff his ugly balls. Instead I just licked his balls until he blew it all over my face. Those bastards, but at least I got out of a ticket ya know. I just can't help it, I need serious help so that I can go out without getting the urge to sniff balls. KELLY, 19.
Sticky cum
My wife brings her guys over to fuck them in my bed. She force me to watch her fucking with all of them. She lets me to eat her pussy after they leave, and clean her dry from all their sticky cum. She told all her girl friends about me doing that and I'm now the slave of all her girl friends. Help me please.
The twins
We are Siamese twins and are lives suck. Kristie's little scabies keep engulfing my side of our body. I have a bowel control problem, and she complains about me shitting all over the bed. To make matters worse my arm is paralyzed and whenever my coochie itches she has to scratch it for me....and wipe my ass. Our parents abandoned us when we were 9. We had been living on the streets until this year, when we got a crap hole apartment that is infested with rats and cockroaches. Kristie's leg is paralyzed and when the roaches crawl on her, they get on me, and I can't smack them off!! We each have a boyfriend, but, unfortunately, her leg is in the way of my pussy so I she is the only one that can have sex, and I just sit there and watch....so I can only take it up the ass...which burns all the time because Kristie has a habit of putting peppers up my ass, and I can't take them out. Life sucks!! I hate it!
The wife and me
I'm such a horny fucking bastard that I spend each waking moment trying to
figure out ways to get my cream withdrawn. Problem is...I keep getting
caught by my wife who is such a sloppy pig she doesn't have the balls to leave
me. Although she looks like she should have balls.
First, she catches me in my car with my tongue one inch deep in a hooker's
asshole...smile!
Next, when she's supposedly shopping, she comes home and finds me in the
basement with two male hookers...one's got his huge rod deep in my asshole and
the other had just shot his load all over my face...smile for the camera!
Last (and maybe finally), she catches me in the woods behind our house sweating
and out-of-breath as I'm power-ramming our German Shepard Sweet Cheeks.
Guess I'll have to find better places to ride...or go back to banging that
smelly bison who is my wife.
I got this rash...
I am fat, ugly, deformed and look like a turtle. I get harassed day in and day out by a group of people who dedicated their life to making the less fortunate miserable. Everyday in class. I question my sexuality because I was constantly sexually abused by my father and sometimes I got aroused from it. I devolved this rash around my penis because I don't change my underwear or shower. I'm 16 and already getting gray hair. I mass produce dildos by pissing in condoms and freezing them for later. One of them broke in my ass and leaked allover while my mom videotaped it and whipped out her "he-cock."
Cucumber gone wrong
My life is a living hell. Six months ago my ex-girlfriend and I decided to be more experimental in bed. We started role playing and using various sex toys. One night the bitch inserted a cucumber up my ass. It got lodged up there and needless to say the pain was horrible. I was sent to the hospital and was humiliated beyond belief. There were complications in the removal of the object, and to make a long story short, I can no longer control the muscles down there. I fart and shit uncontrollably. This has sent me in emotional, not just physical turmoil. I lost my high profile sales job, my ex-friends were disgusted with me, and now I moved back home with my parents. I smell and I constantly have to sit on the toilet. I just want to die!
Send in the clowns.
When I was younger I went to see the circus with my parents. Ever since then I have had an infatuation with clowns. I was 14 when we went I remember being so turned on by the female clowns. I wanted to rip their clothes off and go for it right in front of everybody. I finally joined the circus when I was 18. I got my clown orgies and it was great until I got caught by the snooping fucking bearded lady. She told and now i lost my job as the lion tamer. Now I don't have anything to look forward too. I tried to hang myself with my whip but the damn end broke. My life sucks. The bearded lady must pay!!!!!
Big black dildo
I'm a right miserable bastard. when the kids in my park play soccer and the ball goes into my garden I puncture it in front of them. I don't care if they cry, I hate them. I dress up as a woman, I love wearing tights and sticking my finger up my ass. Some day I want to buy a huge black dildo to stick up my ass. I want to walk around with a dildo in my ass. My life is so shit. i never leave my apartment, I weigh over 500 lbs, yeah I'm really fat, fuck you. I want a woman to beat me up, I want a woman to fuck me up my ass with my big black dildo.
I think they're infected
First off, I am completely bald. I started losing my hair when I hit puberty. I have absolutely no hair on the top of my head, but everywhere else is completely covered in coarse brown fur. I look like the swamp thing and no one can see my jimmy because it's relly short and all my hair covers it up. I have to buy prostitutes to get any sex. I still don't feel anything because all the hair is in the way. My balls are the size of watermelons. I think they're infected by some parasitic host and are oozing a puss colored chunky liquid. My asshole is corroding from all the butt-fucks I've had by my hermaphrodite mother and the family chimpanzee. She locks me in a closet with it at night and hourly makes me masturbate, which really hurts because of all my hair and stds. My mouth is surrounded by canker sores and my neck has stretch marks on it because of constantly trying to give myself a blowjob. I kinda like it though.
Bad masturbation ideas | Mommy's panties | Strange life